When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
