I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
