I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
