Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
