I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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