All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i've created a new STD.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
