people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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