Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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