Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
