walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
