You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
