a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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