UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
