I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
