It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
