i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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