It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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