I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
