IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
