first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize