I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
