he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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