where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
