I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
