I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
