I wish I only lived at night.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
