So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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