theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
