Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
