Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
