Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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