i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
