R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
