barbara walters just said penis...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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