My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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