in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
