"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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