Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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