angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize