Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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