it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Found your dick twin last night
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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