you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize