She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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