So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
