I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
