Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize