how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
