wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
