No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
