She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
