Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize