i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
