Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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