Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
