Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
