Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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