I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I understand Curling. That high.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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